Nepaug Bible Church - http://www.nepaugchurch.org - Pastor's Prayer Meeting Lesson Notes - http://www.nepaugchurch.org/pm/pm20020130.htm

NUMBERS: ON SPIRITUAL CASUALTIES AND VICTORS
Part XX - Wisely Functioning With Difficult Relatives
(Numbers 20:14-22)
  1. Introduction
    1. Due to the history of the relationship, we may not know how to relate well to a certain difficult relative!
    2. Moses was used of God to supply insight on wisely relating to difficult relatives (as follows):
  2. Wisely Functioning With Difficult Relatives, Numbers 20:14-22.
    1. When Israel traveled to Canaan, she faced inevitable interaction with a difficult relative nation in Edom:
      1. The nation Edom standing in Israel's way as it traveled to Canaan had close relative ties with Israel:
        1. Moses' word to Edom which stood in Israel's way to Canaan called Israel its "brother," 20:14, 17.
        2. This term alluded to the common roots of Israel and Edom: the Edomites descended from Esau where Israel had descended from Esau's brother, Jacob, cf. Genesis 25:21-26; 25:30; 49:1-27.
      2. Yet, due to mutual wrongs by their ancestors, Edom was biased against letting Israel cross its land:
        1. Jacob had gained his brother, Esau's birthright by taking advantage of Esau when he was very hungry although Esau had dishonorably despised his birthright in the process, cf. Genesis 25:28-34.
        2. Then, by deception, Jacob had stolen Esau's blessing from Isaac, Genesis 27:40. The enraged Esau then pledged to kill his brother, Jacob, so they had parted company, Genesis 27:41-46.
        3. Later, when Esau later met Jacob (Genesis 32:9-11), Jacob AGAIN deceived Esau on his promise to travel IN EDOM: Jacob claimed he would meet Esau in Seir of Edom, but then took the opposite route opposite his word out of distrust for Esau, Gen. 33:1-17. This SECOND deception following Jacob's first deception re: Esau's blessing would have tempted the Edomites to distrust any promise from Jacob's Israel of a geographical theme on travel relative to Edom's land!
      3. Yet, Moses could not avoid asking Edom to use its land and just go around behind Edom: Edom might distrust Israel's detour action because of the precedent of Jacob's former land deception of Esau and assume Israel planned to attack Edom secretly: that could end in tragic war with relative Edom!
    2. Thus, Moses communicated with Edom to try building a bridge over Jacob's old wrongs in his request:
      1. Opposite the past deceptive errors in Israel's ancestor, Jacob in his ancient deceptions with Esau, Moses spoke with VERIFIABLE honesty in addressing the Edomites, Numbers 20:14-16:
        1. He appealed to Israel's VERIFIABLE common lineage with Edom in making his request, 20:14a.
        2. He also noted Israel had come from a VERIFIABLY hard Egyptian bondage, that it thus had no reason to deceive Edom, but needed to make its path easier by traveling through Edom, 20:14b-15.
        3. Moses relayed how God had led Israel to this point to leave Egypt and arrive at Kadesh, a fact VERIFIED by commonly known miraculous Egyptian deliverance and God's current miraculous cloud guidance the Edomites could verify firsthand, 20:16 with Joshua 2:9-10 and Num. 9:15-23.
      2. After this VERIFIABLE approach, Moses made CANDID his intent to Edom, 20:17: he asked if Israel could pass through Edom without doing harm to its resources while its people stayed on the road.
    3. The Edomites predictably reacted negatively due to Jacob's old geographical deception, Num. 20:18, so Israel's messengers then REPEATED their request, offering to pay for any water it used, Numbers 20:19.
    4. This time the Edomites not only unkindly refused Israel's request but also sent a show of unfriendly force to threaten harm to Israel were it to traverse onto its territory, Numbers 20:20-21a.
    5. As the Edomites were relatives, Israel gently stopped speaking with Edom and began a non-threatening detour around Edom. Such a detour was now non-threatening as it was predictable to the Edomites due to Moses' candid communication with them, 20:21b-22; Ibid., Ryrie St. Bib., KJV, ftn. to Num. 20:22.
Lesson: When we are ESTRANGED from a relative due to a TROUBLED history in the relationship, GOD wants us to (1) try DIFFUSING the ISSUES WE can diffuse or CORRECT the WRONGS WE have done that INFLAME the relative. (2) We should be PERSISTENT in this BRIDGE-BUILDING effort. (4) IF this effort is met only with hostility, we are NOT to retaliate, but merely WITHDRAW!

Application: GOD views our ties with RELATIVES SERIOUSLY, so we must TRY to BUILD BRIDGES even with difficult kin. If our best efforts at this fail, we harmlessly withdraw from them!