Nepaug Bible Church - http://www.nepaugchurch.org - Pastor's Adult Sunday School Notes - http://www.nepaugchurch.org/bb/bb20050724.htm

BIBLICALLY PARENTING THE MATURING CHILD
Part IV: Direction For The Maturing Child When His Parent Is Wrong
(Saul and Jonathan - 1 Samuel 15-31)
  1. Introduction
    1. While rearing our children, we Christian parents usually focus on how well our children heed the Lord rather than question if we ourselves are possibly wrong in how we relate to them!
    2. A Christian parent does well to prepare his maturing son or daughter to respond well to the errant parental activity of himself or his spouse when the child detects sin in the parent; what Jonathan faced in his father, Saul and how he responded to this problem is very instructive for us and for our children (as follows):
  2. Direction For The Maturing Child When His Parent Is Wrong, Saul and Jonathan, 1 Sam. 15-31.
    1. Saul, Jonathan's father, developed a very wicked attitude toward David, 1 Samuel 15-19:
      1. God had appointed David to be king in place of sinful king Saul, 1 Samuel 15:26; 16:1, 13.
      2. The Lord then gave David the means to rise in national prominence in his defeat of Goliath, 1 Sam. 17.
      3. Saul reacted sinfully to this rise in David's prominentce, becoming jealous and suspicious of him, 18:6-9. In contrast, when he, the heir to Saul's throne might have cause to be most threatened by David, Jonathan loved, supported and protected David from his father's harm, 1 Sam. 18:1, 4; 19:1-2.
    2. This difference in attitude toward David came to a head in a crisis between Saul and Jonathan:
      1. When David suspected Saul was intent on killing him, and he told his friend, Jonathan about it, Jonathan agreed to test his father's attitude toward David to set David at ease, 1 Samuel 20:3, 9, 12-13.
      2. That test proved to Jonathan that Saul indeed wanted to kill David; Jonathan became very upset with Saul, and expressed great displeasure at his father's unjust hatred toward David, 1 Samuel 20:30-34.
    3. Regardless of this crisis between Saul and Jonathan over their differences relative to David, Jonathan remarkably stayed faithful as a supportive son to his father while also relating righteously with David:
      1. Jonathan signaled to David that his father, Saul indeed wanted to kill him, so David had to flee for his life, 1 Samuel 20:18-22, 35-42:
        1. Jonathan had suggested David hide in the field until he had discerned if Saul truly wanted to kill him or if he meant him no harm, 1 Samuel 20:18-19.
        2. If Jonathan discerned Saul did not want to kill David, he would shoot three arrows, and send a lad to look for them and shout to the lad so David could hear, "The arrows are on this side of you," 20:20f.
        3. However, if Jonathan learned Saul indeed planned to kill David, Jonathan planned to shout to the lad, "The arrows are beyond you," signaling David was to flee, 1 Samuel 20:22.
        4. This way, Jonathan learned Saul planned to kill David: Saul became enraged at David's absence from a feast where he planned to kill David; assuming Jonathan shielded him, Saul vented his anger at Jonathan by using offensive language and throwing his javelin at him, 1 Samuel 20:25-33a,b.
        5. Infuriated at his father's unjust hatred for David, Jonathan rose in great anger without eating, and left to signal David that he must flee from his father, Saul, 1 Samuel 20:34-40.
      2. Jonathan and David parted as friends (20:41-42) and Jonathan kept up his support for David; he visited David and stated his hope that David would be Israel's next king and he would be next to him, 23:16ff.
      3. Nevertheless, Jonathan stayed faithful in his role as a respectful son to his wicked father, Saul:
        1. The Mosaic Law called Jonathan to honor his father UNCONDITIONALLY even though Saul was so evil toward his friend, David, and that if Jonathan wanted God's blessing, Exodus 20:12.
        2. Accordingly, Jonathan even gave up his life in support of his father; Saul was condemned by God to die in battle this way due to divine judgment for his sinful reign, 1 Samuel 28:15-19; 31:2-6.
      4. David eulogized both Jonathan and Saul in their deaths (2 Sam. 1:17, 23-27) and elevated Jonathan's lame son, Mephibosheth to sit at David's royal table when once he became king, 2 Sam. 9:1-13.
Lesson: When Jonathan learned his father had an evil attitude toward David, though he was rightly angry at that hatred, Jonathan stayed loyal in his ROLE BEFORE GOD as a RESPECTFUL SON, even to DIE in SUPPORT of his FATHER while ALSO relating UPRIGHTLY to DAVID!

Application: Our maturing children must learn that as they see FAULTS in US, though they are not to condone the FAULTS, GOD STILL expects them to stay UPRIGHT in their ROLE as OFFSPRING!